Did Not Start

It wasn’t an easy decision to come to. I prepared my nutrition on Thursday night, making a monster batch of Mountain Fuel pancakes and prepping small resealable bags of Xtreme Energy, resembling something suspicious and illegal.Waking up on Friday morning, I laid my kit out on the living room floor, methodically going through my race vest, spare kit and essentials; weighing options up and sealing descisions in Lifeventure Ultralight dry bags.

I had a headache, it had been rumbling all morning, but it’ll pass…. I hoped. 

All sorted, I wasn’t convinced. I sat head in hands, debating my options, all the while checking my watch, well phone as my watch was fully charged, GPX. uploaded and switched off to conserve battery life.

Head not clear, time for a walk. Fresh air sorts all things. Headed up the road, for the first time this week my body was weak. It lacked power and a pensioner power walked past me. Fuck! 

If there was a sign, that was it. The hardest descision is admitting that you know the answer and holding it off won’t change the outcome. 

My cold was still thick within my head, body making its own descisions and the prospect of camping in wet conditions, followed by 50 miles in similar, wouldn’t end well.

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It wasn't meant to be . As I sit in the living room of my house, my social feeds full of friends & extended @lakeland_50_100 family making their way to Coniston for the 10th Anniversary Race, it would be easy for me to dwell & lick my wounds, milking the situation for an outpouring of public sympathy. As it stands, my cold still has a grip, a stranglehold on my ability to be normal, let alone run an ultra . Am I gutted – in many ways, f***ing devastated . Since teaming up with @pyllon 12 weeks ago, there has only been one day, one goal & one purpose in mind, to comeback & decimate my time from last year. Training around a full time job, fledging photography business & relationship has been a challenge, especially at my busiest time of year. Sessions have been sacrificed, 4am starts more frequent & balance has been lost at times . But I've grown, both as an athlete & person. I'm faster, lighter and can sustain that speed for longer than ever before. Mentally I have greater control & understanding of my body, my analysis when things have gone wrong is improved & this has lead to less problems . With Rupert from @mountainfuel_uk, my race nutrition is more consistent & no longer do I stuff anything I can find at a CP down my gullet. There's planning involved . So yes, today sucks & tomorrow will hurt more. There will be other years to take on the trails from Dalemain to Coniston & my fitness will only keep rising ahead of @ringofsteallskyrace in September . Im coming back stronger

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The right choice isn’t always the easiest, but you feel better in the aftermath. Races are select moments in a training cycles, health is lifelong.