This morning I posted on Instagram briefly about being coached for the past 6 months, hat it has taught me, the challenges I have faced and why running is personal to me.
Now, at the end (full text provided below) I made a short reference to the abuse I suffered as a child. Running and moreover, endurance sports mean a lot to me as even during those formative years, I started running 3-8 miles regularly, to prepare myself for Royal Marine Officer selection.
Publicly I have kept quiet about my past until now, however, I have been campaigning with the NSPCC for a number of years, even sitting on a Home Office Advisory Board for a year.
In time, I hope to share more of my story and show that good from negativity. I’m fortunate to have discovered the running community and the characters that are now some of my best friends, idols and motivators.
Even in the darkest moments, there is always light waiting to break through.
“As composed & premeditated as a shot may be, often they mask a reality, the reality
I’d be lying if I said it had been an easy year on the trail
In May, I took the decision to fall under coach @pyllon’s guidance. Truth be told, despite often being asked what my next adventure is, I’m one of the laziest people I’ve ever met. So much so, for someone who ran a 50 mile ultra & London Marathon in 2016…. my total mileage for the year was 300. And with that, a plan of setting out at a pace i felt may be achievable & relying on luck/will/grinding to do so. In these examples I was 7 & 2 minutes off both times
Yet, this was all a gamble
Having been steered, motivated, instructed, questioned, pushed, challenged…. things have changed. My running economy, speed, endurance, knowledge & body composition have altered
For all the good, I’ve let myself down at times, wasting valuable weeks, finding myself sat inside, instead of heading out on perfectly goods days to train
In many cases it’s been a mental rather than physical challenge/fight
Despite my better judgment at times, results have improved, speed arrived from nowhere, capacity to endure higher tempo outputs sky rocketed and enjoyment of racing/weekends in the hills is at an all time high
I have a lot to thank @pyllon for & a lot to be sorry for, frustrating him through my absence of completed sessions
I entered coaching as a last ditch attempt to motivate myself to gather some consistency in life, and in doing so learnt more about myself than even therapy
As I’ve said previously the challenge is real. They often say those drawn to the trail/ultra world have some damage/hurt/wounds that attract them to at times a monotonous pursuit, practised alone. I am no exception
11 years of physical abuse at the hands of my mother taught me not to trust, to hide & remain hidden, not to wear your heart on my sleeve. Now I’ve found an outlet I can progress & express myself in. Through the act of running & practice of content creation for the wider community, I have a voice
I have a life
Thank you Boss 👊🏻”